A Survey

In casual conversation, out of curiosity, I’ve asked different people the question: “Would you delete photos of your ex?” The limited data I gathered showed significant differences between the responses of men and women. However, due to the small sample size, I won’t delve into these differences, as they aren’t the main focus here.

My Perspective

Keeping Photos Doesn’t Mean Holding Onto Feelings

First, it’s important to clarify that keeping photos of an ex and keeping contact information are two separate issues.

Some people believe that their partner keeping photos of an ex signifies unresolved feelings and even guilt. This assumption is baseless—whether or not someone chooses to keep personal belongings doesn’t require others’ approval.

Some people, after a particularly unpleasant breakup, may angrily delete all related memories, preferring to erase them from sight. This is understandable. I never encourage people to forgive and forget. I also despise the typical movie scenes where “A’s loved one is killed by the villain, A seeks revenge, and B tells A to let it go with some nonsense about the futility of revenge.”

Keeping photos doesn’t necessarily mean lingering feelings; it could simply mean moving on. Deleting photos could also be the act of someone who is indecisive. I’ve seen many cases where people block all contact after an emotional breakup, only to get back together later. Therefore, no one should use their actions in this matter as a measure of their seriousness about relationships.

Time Heals

When I was in elementary school, entering the school required wearing a red scarf, and those without it had to register their names. I often forgot mine. At the time, not wearing the red scarf felt like a catastrophe. Looking back now, doesn’t it seem ridiculous? Now we all understand that the registration was merely a formality.

I can’t be certain of the mindset of the elderly. But based on my guess, when people reach that age and look back at their past relationships—no matter how heart-wrenching they were at the time—they’ve likely long since moved on. When memory fades with age and one revisits old photos, discovering significant gaps might lead to a sense of regret.

My Approach

I’m in the “keep it” camp. Photos are an essential part of my life. Unless a photo is poorly taken and gets deleted shortly after being taken, my attitude towards photos is much like my approach to diaries—I don’t delete them just because they hold bad memories. The highs and lows are all parts of life; deleting something doesn’t mean it never happened. For me, photos and diaries serve as vessels for reflecting on my life when I’m old.